Faux Maux

NEW as of October 2008

CLEAN (use of the F-word)

Wanna produce it?

Yes, I was reading off a script.

Time: 29:29

Undressed for Change

Welcome to the New Show.

I’m pleased to be here.

I’m thrilled you agreed to come.

It’s an honor to be your first guest.

Such a prominent politician.

We’re working very hard to secure the nomination.

I see that….

If you look at the polls…

i don’t place too much…

It’s merely an indicator.

Some poles indicate a lot.

True. It’s all about the people.

And want they like.

And what they want.

What do you think the people want?

Change, a new direction, dignified leadership.

dignified….

Yes. A leader who can speak the truth.

And show it.

Exactly.

Which direction?

A new direction.

You mean change.

Exactly.

So you repeated yourself.

I did?

You said change AND a new direction.

Everyone wants change.

I thought they just want more money and more things.

That’s very cynical.

You think the people in this country care?

Yes, I think they do.

And they want a new direction.

Forward looking.

No one wants black and white tee vee.

There’s nothing black and white about the future.

More like color, surround sound.

High definition.

And more porn.

I wouldn’t say that.

That’s what they want.

I aim to change things for the better.

Porn is bad?

Pornography is immoral.

I thought we were talking about politics, not morality.

They both sit at the same table.

What did morality say to the politician?

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Hey! You known the answer!

We need to clean up politics.

Make a change.

Yes, a change, more transparency.

Do you think the people really want to see?

The people want honesty.

But do they want transparency?

Sure, if it would show them the truth.

But what is just shows them something they don’t want to see?

Like what?

Like that mole on your chest.

What mole?

The one right there.

How do you know I’ve got a mole?

Surprise. You’re on Undressed Camera!

SKETCHES UNDRESSED(The Opening - solo, written for the Living Theater)

Welcome to Sketches Undressed.

I am not your host, Faux Maux. She is somewhere putting her clothes back on.

Maybe she’s in a nun’s habit doing the rosary, ’cause Faux Maux is a good girl…. a good little girl. maybe not so little.

I’m uncomfortable being naked.

Are you uncomfortable with me being naked?

Well, if you’re not, soon enough you’ll see 2 naked dudes and you’ll understand….

My fear. I’m not afraid of being naked.

I just think there’s a time and a place.

Sure the theater is a place, one of those places, besides the shower, being in bed (alone or with a buddy), typing at your computer or the Republican convention.

But I’ve done it already. …being naked. And all anyone saw was “naked.”

I whined and complained that no one understood the “concept.”

I got this bump, you see, and I’m not pregnant. It’s my deformity. My blessing or the opposite, depending on your point of view. So I did concept pieces revolving around my deformity. Conceptual stuff.

Naked, I know now, is not a concept. It a thing.

And not always a good thing.

Some people were revolted. Americans are still a touch puritanical. …a rude, immoral thing.

I know my mother thinks…. I promised I wouldn’t talk about my mother.

My poor mother. I am not trying to hurt my mother, so don’t let her know I’m here.

I’m not. I told you. This is not me. This is some naked girl who think that nakedness will change the world.

I am not the first one. I’m surely not to be the last.

Getting naked is a performance vehicle for facing our deepest fears.

Naked and alone. Naked and alone. We enter the world naked and some guy dresses us up when we die, the bugs eat the clothes and we’re naked again - until the worms eat our flesh.

It’s natural. That’s why nudists call themselves naturists. Though i think “nudist” is self-explanatory.

Once again, people need “code words” for their actions.

I’m not watching porn, honey. I’m doing ‘research’.

Who are you chatting with on the computer, dear? Uh. A client! A german client!

We are all liars. We have always been and will always be. The only thing that’s honest and true is the shape of our ass.

And now that you’ve seen mine, I’d like to introduce my scene partners for the night.

Take a deep breathe.

I just want to remind you that if you can bear the sight of these two naked…uh… well, there’s paper bags under your chairs. Breathe deeply. And a plastic bags too, in case you need to.. hope your dinner wasn’t too pricey.

Although William Wallace wore a kilt, he did have “FREEDOM!”

Adam and Eve Sketch a collaboration with the incomparable Big Mike

Adam

Did you see that guy all dressed in white with the flaming sword and the ZZ Top beard?

Eve

I don’t like that guy. Who does he think he is?

Adam

You know, the “The” guy.

Eve

The who, what?

Adam

Just the “The.”

Eve

Well… The “The” has an attitude problem.

Adam

I don’t think the THE is gonna let us back in again.

Eve

OMG. You’re naked.

Adam

Uh. I guess I am. Hey! You’re naked too.

Eve

Why are YOU so hairy? I don’t even have any pubes.

Adam

It’s freezing out here. It’s cold as Hell.

Eve

You’d think Hell would be hot. We’re in a really weird place. Let’s call it the Land of Nod. Hey…. Adam!! ……You stupid Neanderthal, make us a fire!!!

Adam

Uh….. What’s a fire?

Eve

Something hot, like the “The” had on his sword. Why don’t you try rubbing two sticks together?

(Adam looks at his penis quizzically.)

Adam

I only gots one.

Eve

Try tree sticks, numbnuts.

Adam

(Plays rhythm sticks.)

This will never work.

Eve

You never listen to me. I told you not to eat that fucking apple. Always hungry. Fat pig.

Adam

Alright. Alright. Shut your yap already. You’re the one who wanted the god-damned apple.

(tosses sticks)

This ain’t working.

Eve

Try something else. That sword was made of some kind of stone stuff.

Adam

(Plays shakers )

This ain’t working neither.

Eve

Must I do everything around here?

(Lights Bic lighter)

Adam

Nobody likes a smart-assed bitch.

Eve

Good thing I don’t know nobody. Take the rocks and go kill something. Bring me a nice skin to wear. And - Keep the meat!!! I’m hungry.

(Sings “Like a Virgin” – 2 stanzas.)

Adam

Look what I killed? A red thong.

Eve

A what?

Adam

A thong-bird. A Monicus Lewinskius. Now that your nice and cozy and warm, let’s be fruitful and multiply, like the “The Guy” told us to do. Whaddaya
say?

[[[CUE: “Fire” by Pointer Sisters]]]

[[Dance. Song ends. A & E light ciggies. Eve finds baby.]]

Eve

Looks! It’s a baby…. It’a a Boy!! Let’s thnk of a name, Shame, Pain. I know…. Cain.

Adam

How do you know it’s a boy?

Eve

Shut up, Numbnuts.

[[[EXIT CUE: Reprise song: “Fire”]]]]

Marcia Hershkovitz used to host a Wednesday night show on MNN called “Making the Scene.” This was one of the more memorable shows.

That’s me as the Grinch, John King as himself, Marcia, an upside-down Laruocco in the yellow wig and CXB doing his thing.

The Grinch’s heart grew so big…

She couldn’t stop hugging the good fairy.

We made this last year. I conceived, directed, and costumed it. Missy Galore shot and edited it. With Patrick Bucklew as the Turkey, Missy Galore as the Parks Department Sheriff, Valmonte Sprout and Myself as the “Agents of Turkey Slaughter.” Featuring Chika as the pie-loving sprite-doggie. music: Ui by Bill Laswell. enjoy.

It's simply amazing when you can get a video of your work, no less video that is already uploaded. So, here's a sampler.

~~~~SOME FOUL LANGUAGE. Some nudity. NWS-ish (EXCEPT WHEN NOTED)~~~

Edited, shot and produced by Michael Tapp. His work (with lots of other super-art-stars) can be found on blip.tv. His channel is called branekandi!

“Tit for Tat” - even though I wrote another play with the same name. But I like the name!

Mike wrote “Johnny Boy”. I wrote “The Art Model”. Mike and I re-wrote (cause we forgot what we had improvised) “Alice and Ralph.” And obviously, we wrote “Mike and Maux” together.

The third act in… (after the fabulous Ana Montana and the hilarious Helen Stratford)… The improv of Alice and Mike. Bang Zoom! FOUL LANGUAGE, funny.

TAKE THIS by Faux Maux and Ana Montana @ 2005

Another older bit from blip.tv, when Collective Unconscious was still conscious…..”Mozass” OR “The Bed Bug Bit ME” is first up.

A collection of studio stuff. MY fave Ana Montana act, “The Frying Pans” is included. Note, that her piece is designed for the stage, so the glimpses of her woo-woo from the second camera are not intentional! You can listen to some more Big Mike ranting. Or fast forward to my dance piece that I improvised. I’m actually wearing panties but they are green and look flesh colored under the lights. NWS AT ALL! enjoy!